Pleasure and Pain
There are 2 major drivers for humans
Pleasure and pain
We will run toward pleasure.
And we often do just about anything we can to avoid pain.
Then there is also neutrality, where we make little progress or no movement at all. This is where we can stagnate. It’s where indecision keeps us from acting on opportunities. It’s where we settle for what is, instead of changing or believing in what can be. We may stay in a relationship that isn't working when we know it isn't right for us. We might make excuses for our lack of action saying things like, “it's not so bad" or "this is just how it is". We may also stay at a job we don't like because, "hey at least it's a steady paycheck" or again "it's not so bad".
"It's fine" will keep you from ultimate freedom.
"It's okay" will hold you back from outstanding outcomes.
"It's not so bad" will rob you of a badass life.
So it's not fine, it's not okay, it is bad for us and until we acknowledge it we can’t change it.
So ask yourself- is this how you want it to be? Is this how you want your relationship to be? Is this how you want your financial situation to be? Is this how you want your body to be? Is this how you want your career to be? Is this how you want your relationship with yourself to be?
If you answered no to some of these then you’ll want to decide between waiting until things get so bad AKA pain that it causes you to take action or do you want to create a future so rich with joy and excitement AKA pleasure that it causes you to take action and leave the state of neutrality? I say run toward pleasure!
Have you ever been so excited about something that nothing could get you down? Maybe it was a vacation you were about to take. The Friday before the trip you were cruising through the day before you were even on the cruise. Walking up the halls with a smile on your face and happy even when challenges that day came. That's because there was so much pleasure in your mind when imagining what was to come. We can do this by envisioning what it would be like if we were thriving in all areas of our lives. If we imagine the best possible scenarios we can set goals to move us in that inspiring direction.
You know, pleasure makes us do some crazy things! If there is enough perceived pleasure about something- we will find a way!!!
Now let’s talk a little about pain. If we don’t work to create the lives we want, we will inevitably experience pain from our lack of action. I have experienced this in the past. When I look back on my life I see over a decade of life where I was too afraid to mess up that I didn’t take so many opportunities and my lack of action kept me small and what I thought was safe. In life no one is safe, we are all going to die and if you want a fulfilling life you’re going to have to take some risks. If you don’t you will experience more pain.
To outline how pain and pleasure work in decision making.
What if I offered you a piece of cake? If you are a person that likes cake there would be some pleasure associated with it.
If it was your favorite type of cake from the best bakery in town the perceived pleasure would rise.
If you were hungry it would rise even some more...
But if you had committed to cutting out sugar- you might perceive pain, the pain of breaking your commitment or even the pain of betraying yourself.
If we associate enough pleasure or pain to something we can quickly take action and see amplified results. So a technique I go into great detail with clients is to associate a lot of pleasure with the things we want and a lot of pain with not having, doing or becoming what we want. This causes us to take action right now and make the jump from our little comfort zone into the world where we can make it happen.