Attract Your "Perfect" Mate

Single people often want the "perfect person" or "soulmate" to come into their lives and make everything magically better. I'm not here to tell single people that this incredible person doesn't exist or that happy endings are only in fairytales, so fear not my fellow romantics. Still, one question we need to ask ourselves when we are hoping for our "prince charming" or "dream girl" to come is-

If this incredible person came into my life today would I be ready?

In the past, all of my friends that I have ever asked this question to have said no. So if you're single and looking, ask yourself if that special person were to come would you rush into a frenzy trying to become the right person for them as quickly as possible? What would you rush to do? What traits would you wish to cultivate within yourself if that person was in front of you? Go ahead and think that over for a minute.

The person we attempt to quickly become when we meet someone special, you know that person we could really see ourselves with is often our "ideal self". We usually know who we want to be, deep down. We also know many of the steps we should take in order to get the life we want. That's why when we meet this special person we often are jolted into action. We are more disciplined, we start dressing better, cleaning our home, our car, we are on time, we keep our promises... We essentially try to become someone we feel is worthy of the love we want to receive. We start to demand greatness from ourselves when presented with this amazing person. So many of us want to be a strong "we" but we first need to learn to be the person of our dreams.

So why don't we become these people with discipline, excellent judgment and standards before we meet Mr. Right or Miss Right? There are different excuses but mainly because it's hard. 

“Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.” ― Elbert Hubbard

If our dream person comes in and shows us just a bit of attention we kick into overdrive, it's the motivation we have been waiting for to become disciplined. To put it in perspective, it's similar to when you have someone stop by your home unexpectedly. If you haven't prepared the space and kept it clean then you may be very uneasy. So you might run ahead of the person seeing your place, hiding the laundry under the bed, standing in front of the dirty dishes in the sink hoping the person won't notice. Most of us do this in some areas of our lives, usually trying to present ourselves in the best light. That is the light you ultimately want to live in and you can, by just starting where you are. 

If we make poor choices with our health, with our careers, and our friendships then we won't be ready when what we do want comes along. The old saying "luck is when preparation meets opportunity" comes to mind. If we aren't prepared then we won't be getting lucky, our dream partner will run because usually, they seek a partner with similar qualities to the ones they have worked so hard for. 

We've all heard the expression "like attracts like" meaning the qualities you possess will attract others who have those qualities as well. Now, this isn't always the case, but generally, you will find this to be true. I'm not talking about polarity here and lustful superficial attraction, I'm talking about the values you hold dear and what you admire in other people. Example, if you want loyal and kind friends you must be loyal and kind yourself.

BE YOUR DREAM PERSON! The relationship you have with yourself is 'till death do you part, become what you need. Fill the voids within you, love yourself first. Don't wait to be motivated by an outside force, be that guy or girl that you see yourself becoming when your dream partner arrives- BE HIM/HER NOW! 

For the stars to align, you must shine. Write out how you would jump into action when that person arrives. How would you behave differently? Then after you have a list start doing some of those things and see how empowered you start to feel. 

I have a BIG SECRET for you, when you are your ideal self and experience rejection it isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, it just means that person wasn't the right one for you, even if you liked them. The world is full of billions of people so when one doesn't like you, MOVE ON and be thankful that you don't need to waste any more time on them.

You can make a list of qualities and attributes you want your "dream person" to possess but at the top of that list, you need to put- They must deeply love me, the real me. 

Hold yourself to the same standard of quality you wish to find in love, then you will find yourself emitting an energy that others like you will be attracted to. Becoming the person of your dreams is how you attract the imperfect person that is perfect for you. 

Sending you all love,

Kaden JamesComment